How to kiss a boy
by Okamis Fia
Summary: Place a kiss on the cheek, that's how you kiss a boy. (one-shot)


**How to kiss a boy**

 **(disclaimer, the song is 'How to kiss a boy by LeAnn Rimes' I suggest listening to it before reading this or while reading it).**

Place a kiss on the cheek, that's how you kiss a boy.

 _First time he says I love you  
You've got no choice but to believe  
You've got no power up against it  
You can't eat and you can't sleep  
Hope ain't necessary when you never had a doubt  
You just know it will work out, don't you?_

She had always trusted him, believed in him, why shouldn't she? (even if he was drunk). He saved her on several occasions, believed in her powers when she doubted herself, and felt conscious of others opinions.

So, when he took her hand in his, stared into his eyes and gently rested his forehead on hers, before whispering 'I love you' she couldn't fight against it. It was bound to happen for her, to fall for him (did it matter what situation he told her in?) He was her world, which held her together. The sun, giving her warmth and the light to help her fight through the darkness.

With him she didn't feel alone. __

 _No one understands it  
No matter what they say  
And as far as you're concerned  
No one's ever felt this way  
The moon seems so much brighter  
You stare and twirl your hair  
Until he leans in... Ooh, closer_

People had warned her beforehand. Told her that even if she thought she knew him, that she should be wary. They would send her glances of sympathy and she couldn't understand why, this was before such things had happened. They were best friends, and if they became more, wasn't that a positive thing? To know each other so well, and to love them all the while, the trust would be stronger ( _Should've_ been stronger).

When she looked into his eyes that night, she felt herself come alive. She felt as though she was the most beautiful thing in the world, and at the same time wary of her looks. He caused her to be someone she never thought she would be. A teen girl, heart racing and always stuttering (she never knew these feelings, she was always caged).

When he leaned in, she didn't stop him. She had wanted this too, maybe not when she had first met him, but the feelings grew over time.

(But it was only the influence of alcohol). __

 _So close your eyes  
And hold on tight  
Feel that perfect joy  
It's easy from holding your breath  
Let it go right to your head  
That's how to kiss a boy  
How to kiss a boy_

She felt amazing.

The world stopped moving. Magic had never felt as unique as it did then. It was as though they were a puzzle piece, finally, _finally,_ being fitted together.

She didn't dare breath, didn't waste the moment. __

 _Then one night he calls you  
Says it didn't mean a thing  
And you feel a break inside you  
And you're filled with disbelief  
But you still let him come over  
And he's trembling when he says  
Oh, baby, I'm sorry_

A while after that night, he had been ignoring her. And when they did speak, he would act as though he was uncomfortable. She told herself that the outcome would be worth the wait, that this was a bump in the road, but where there was a bump, there was worry.

Then there was a phone call.

He was so much stronger; his tone didn't show any hesitation like it did the previous days. ' _I wanted to ask you about the kiss.'_ He asked her if she remembered, and she replied with how could she forget, being naive and only seeing positivity. ' _I want you to forget it, it didn't mean anything, cause we're only friends, right?'_ She felt numb, not even knowing her own actions; a bitter laugh, 'sure', sure.

How could she not have seen? She hung up before he could answer. Dare he answer.

Still, when she heard the knock on the door, knowing it was him. She never hesitated to answer. Her body acted before she could think it through. She watched his eyes widen at her appearance, or was it the mess of her house? She didn't care. He swiftly wrapped her with his arms, whispering sweet nothings. And she was powerless against the yearning for him. __

 _So close your eyes  
You better hold on tight  
You can't help but feel destroyed  
Love's innocence disappears  
Eyes filling up with tears  
That's how to kiss a boy  
How to kiss a boy_

The love never felt the same, it never would. She was holding onto something which was slowly destroying her. Love was pain. Was that it? She never knew beforehand, but it hurt. The happiness, the joy; that night flashed back to her, and she couldn't prevent the tears. Would she never share that emotion with his through a kiss again? The kiss right now was bitter, almost empty. Trying to make something which wasn't there to begin with. __

 _Oh, lean your head back  
Part your lips  
Brace yourself  
It comes down to this  
It shouldn't hurt  
Shouldn't make you wish  
You never kissed  
Never kissed a boy_

Regret.

All she felt was regret. And hurt. And sorrow. And, _dammit,_ it hurt so much. Nothing improved from the phone call. It only got worse. Every time they shared a kiss, she had to brace herself. To still her movement and just hope it would pass quickly.

For the first time, she wished she had never been at that party. She wished she noted the pitied glances. Is this what it came down to? A relationship which only she was clinging onto. He was only with her due to wanting to preventing her from being sad, from breaking their friendship and her going to find someone else to love. __

 _First time he says he loves you  
It doesn't mean that it's the truth  
You gave it everything you had  
You learned the hard way what to do_

She should've known that night that phrase was empty. People lie, it was inevitable. But she was raised to know better, to know the influence alcohol had on people, to know that the outcomes would never end well (she had a father to know of this).

She had always tried. Never wanting to give up and admit defeat. Yet this was leaving her scarred. She was trying to fight and hold onto something which could never be caged. When she looked at him, she understood what she loved about him.

He screamed of freedom. Freedom she never had. And when he told her the three words, she felt as though she had something she never knew of before. But she held him down, always held him down.

And no matter how hard it was, she understood what action was necessary. __

_So close your eyes  
Some things in our life  
A lie can still destroy  
You've gotta say goodbye  
One more on the cheek this time  
That's how to kiss a boy_

He was crying, on his knees attempting to reach out and latch on to an article of her clothing. And each time he did so, she stepped back so he would miss.

This was for the best she would tell herself as she looked down at him. She told him too.

She was leaving for both of their sakes, to set them both free.

He didn't want to let her go, and it almost made her chuckle. He was just like her, grasping onto something they both knew wasn't there. Trying to save the remaining pieces instead of fixing the problem.

It hurt, of course, but the relief was something to savour. Throughout the ordeal all she felt was pain and now, she had freedom.

Crouching down, she took in his form. Shaking from tears, head bowed in grief, in hurt. And she cupped his cheek to raise his head. Gently she rested her forehead on his, just like that night, before whispering 'I love you with the utter most perfect love, one which will never be accepted, or touched after this day. I'm setting us free, Natsu, find your true love.' Just before she got up, she gently kissed his cheek, never the lips, and for once, she felt more happiness (mirroring her first kiss) than any other they had shared. It had meaning.

Before she grabbed her bags, and left, shutting the door while refusing to look at the man weeping on the floor.

 _How to kiss a boy  
How to kiss a boy  
How to kiss a boy  
_

**How much sense does this story make? I would give it a 0 probably because I need to edit it. But the song… if you haven't heard it I suggest you listen to it otherwise the logic of this story will only get worse . I've never written a lyrical fanfic, and I tend to stay away but the song got to me ;; So this is a Nalu story and although it might seem as though it's one sided it could be shared, in how you interpret it. I hope you enjoy and have a good day ^^**


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